now i know why i became what i already was.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
so much tequila, so little girl.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i believe in u and ur pee
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
