i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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