just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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