he thought i was a dude.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
