Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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