woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
