i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
