on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
