508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
