bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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