if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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