i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
