Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Randomize
