The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
