I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
