Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
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