am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
