that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
i need some magic done to my vagina
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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