So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
