At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
