oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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