Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
