Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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