Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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