That's when you crack a 10am beer
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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