I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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