We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Two words: nipple clamps
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