sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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