HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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