We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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