this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
