let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
