My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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