take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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