Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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