hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
