just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
