i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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