i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
