I want to stick my p in your. b.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
