Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
The beer is more important than you right now.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
