Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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