You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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