My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
