I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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