Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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