I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
i think im in europe. pls send help
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
