I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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