I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
