never play flip cup with pint glasses
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Come on in and take your pants off
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