You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
